Sacrifice
by Camille1
Summary: A short story about Van, he expresses his feelings and his darkest moments, warning: very, very, very depressing, and really not that good, so be warned...*second note*
1. Default Chapter

Sacrifice 

  
  
  
  
  
  


A/N: Hey, people, I'm here yet again writing a pointless story about Van and Hitomi's possible future....thought this is VERY boring, just take the time to read and say as to what I can improve in. Thank you, and remember I write badly so.....hehe.....get the picture?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


I should've never let her go, why was I stupid enough to do something like that? Damn you Fanel! A shadow of hate flickered through my mind, Pathetic, totally worthless a poor excuse of a king...I scolded myself, flipping the dangerous weapon in my hand, feeling it's lingering coolness, contemplating it's inviting sharpness, I could always take away my pain for once and all......NO, I will not sink to THAT level, Absurd, what was I thinking? No, I cannot do it, I have a duty, only people who think that they have nobody would do something terrible as that, but aren't I one of them? No, no i am not......but how should I know.... " Ahhh, gods above, why? What did I do?" I cried desperately into the frozen night.

  
  


I stood there, in the moonlight, watching the frozen tears of angels flow from the place of heaven, scattering around my heated body, wanting to attach themselves to my hot fleash, but melting in an instant of a second. Clad in my cloak, I tightened it around myself, fearing the cold reminder of loneliness. T'is almost time for the morn to rise, I thought, I always loved watching the gentle carriers of ice fall from the heavens, slowly and reluctanly, as if not wanting to leave the fluffiness of the cooling clouds. I smiled, and pulled a gloved hand to rest before the coolness of the snow, letting the tiny droplets of ice claim my covered hand. Even though my hand was gloved, I could still feeling the gentle pulsing of the snow cradeling my hand.

  
  


Van Fanel, enjoying your moment of loneliness? That voice, I hated it so much, I could not even describe my warth for it, that voice in my head almost destroyed my entire life, it seems like I already have, the sarcasm in it almost dripped into nothingness. I would not let it destroy my only moment of peace. So, I blocked it, no more memories, only the present sheding of the clouds.

  
  


If only Hitomi were here, watching the sun rise with me, holding my hand, whispering reassurance that she would not leave, I laugh, I must be still dreaming, for how can it be possible that she would ever come back? "None at all" I whispered, lowering my head. I felt so ashamed. Why, why, why, why, WHY did I let her go? No answer. There is never an answer. So sad really, I always think of what could be, but never of what really is. Sighing, I brush my hand through my still unruly mop of raven hair, she would order me to cut it off, I laughed then, there I go again thinking of a realms of happiness, and not of the stone cold reality.

  
  


I turn away, stalking back into my castle, it glittered stunningly into the suns rays, but not even this breath-taking sight would change my mind of depression. I have made up my mind. I was going to do it. I could not believe that I had sunk so low as to do this, but there was trully no happiness in life any more. Merle was dead, she died only last year, she had ventured off to Arturia where someone was on an rampage and killed her. I don't' know how but I really did not want to know, then there was Allen and Millerna, they had also died, on a trip across the Southern Ocean, possibly a ship wreak, they just disappeared. And then, there was the real tragedy, I had let her go, let her slip away from my death lock grasp. My emerald eyed angel, and I knew then that when the light disappeared, my soul also disappeared. 

  
  


I crept into my silent study, and threw off my cloak, leaving my white shirt on. Reaching the desk I sat down and took the quill from it's perch, and flipped a paper towards myself and started to write.

  
  
  
  


Dear reader,

  
  


I King Van Fanel of Fanelia, have let this up to you to send for my advisors the minute you find this note, since you probably are mystified why am I writing this I will explain, I have completely lost the interest in living, I do not wish to live anymore. I cannot explain any further, I am sorry, let the advisors decide who will be the next ruler. And now I will finally be at peace, good-bye world

  
  


Van Fasnel

  
  
  
  
  
  


"Good-bye world, let the night finally take my last wish..." I whispered as I glided the smooth, and painless sharpness against my bearing flesh. I smiled ironically, finally, after years of pain, I finally am free.......I could feel my life drain from my useless body...It felt warm and welcoming, I almost felt lust to cripple my body more, but I also felt the energy drain, slowly, painlessly... And right before death stole it's last kiss from my cold lips, I whispered one last sentence, that would forever echo around the room... " I...love...you....Hitomi..." Then I felt it, the sprang of white lovelyness slip through my every vein, consuming me, eating me away, but I felt no pain while I parted my body, a single tear slid down my paling face, one last smile shown upon it, "Hitomi..."

  
  
  
  
  
  


A million miles away in a world of lights, Hitomi heard a whisper come forth through her mind, she looked around , her eyes wide with hope, yet none came, she shrugged it off and continued to stare out the snowy window, it was Christmas eve after all, her parents were there, and so was Yukari with her husband, Amano, and their adorable little 1 year old boy, with puffy red cheeks and a cute smile. Sighing, Hitomi turned back to the serene picture of calmness, something was missing, and she felt it, her eyes glistered with tears, she did not know why but a certain sadness engulfed her. And she cried, long and hard, yet no one seemed to notice, she did not care. Then it came to her, his last words before her angel took his own life, "I love you Hitomi".....The picture flashed before her eyes, Van lying on the blood soaked floor with a smile on his face, his own blood. "NO! Van..." she sobbed, no no no...this cannot be, she screamed in her mind. Please, God no..........but it was true, no mater how much tears flowed, or how much the angels cried, he could not come back, he would never...he was a sacrifice of love....

  
  
  
  
  
  


A/N: Okay. So it's VERY disturbing and depressing, but I had no idea what else to write, and I was feelin' kinda sad myself so I said what the hell at least I can disturb some ff.net readers! Lol, sorry guys, there is no need to review...Anyways Happy Holidays LOL, sorry, don't worry I'm not that sick...or am I.....? BUH BYE

  
  
  
  


Camille ^-~


	2. Important notice....please READ IT

NOTE............

  
  
  
  


Dear readers, I am just writing this to let you know that: I AM NOT INSANE.....or crazy or suicidal, or any of that other crap, this story just happened to be on my mind, writing about Van's despair and all is only something that I do the least.....apparently.....So, how do you like my story............::silence::..........actually nobody has REVIEWED MY STORY......at least 15 people went to read it and NONE of them bothered to flame me...? Isn't that weird? I'd say...but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, I beg you people to believe me that I am NOT a psychotic person on the loose.....I was just bored of my English class and just wrote this....so very sorry of disturbing your time...now you can either: 

a) Be generous enough to flame me...hehe

  
  


b) Ignore me completely and get on with your life

  
  


or

c) recommend me a shrink to ease my disturbed mind.......

  
  
  
  
  
  


I know that most of you will choose c but, what the hell....yet again I state that I AM NOT A MENTALLY DISTURBED GIRL....'cause I'm not......well, t's all for now...so have a nice life.......


	3. Second note....just read

Second Note....

  
  
  
  


Okay, people, I am getting pissed off....Most of you, if there are any, read the chapter or glance though it and not bother to put some sense into me or kindly say that I am a psycho(not sayin that I am one..), or even bother to review...

  
  


But, in the midst of despair SOME VERY kind person reviewed this fic....I THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH guyan0/kitie-chan....eheh............this really made me cheer up...to know that someone is actually nice enough to review....but imagine 1 person out of 57 reviewed it, I have enhanced statistics so I know.............

  
  


Continue to ignore me if you wish, but if you have any ideas in which I can write a story, then please do tell, I am not begging only simply asking, and I also am not begging you to review you do as you wish, 

  
  


Well, I'm not going to waste your time, so forth, BUH BYE........


End file.
